The First Rule of Mastery: Stop Worrying about What People Think of You
Original price was: $29.99.$11.99Current price is: $11.99.
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A USA Today Bestseller
High-performance psychologist Michael Gervais presents a groundbreaking guide for overcoming what may be the single greatest constrictor of human potential: our fear of people’s opinions (FOPO).
FOPO shows up almost everywhere in our lives—and the consequences are great. When we let FOPO take control, we play it safe and small because we’re afraid of what will happen on the other side of critique. When challenged, we surrender our viewpoint. We trade in authenticity for approval. We please rather than provoke. We chase the dreams of others rather than our own.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
In The First Rule of Mastery, Michael Gervais shows us that the key to leading a high-performance life is to redirect our attention from the world outside us to the world inside us. He reveals the mental skills and practices we need to overcome FOPO—the same skills he’s taught to the top performers in the world, including sports MVPs, world-renowned artists and musicians, and Fortune 100 leaders and teams.
Filled with fascinating stories from the worlds of sports and business, leading-edge science, and insights from the frontier of human performance, The First Rule of Mastery is a much-needed wake-up call that when we give more value to other people’s opinions than we do our own, we live life on their terms, not ours.
From the Publisher
ASIN : B0BTJDS2XQ
Publisher : Harvard Business Review Press
Accessibility : Learn more
Publication date : November 7, 2023
Language : English
File size : 5.0 MB
Screen Reader : Supported
Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
X-Ray : Enabled
Word Wise : Enabled
Print length : 191 pages
ISBN-13 : 978-1647823252
Page Flip : Enabled
Best Sellers Rank: #84,615 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store) #12 in Occupational & Organizational Popular Psychology #154 in Personal Success in Business #216 in Business Leadership
Customer Reviews: 4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars (776) var dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction; P.when(‘A’, ‘ready’).execute(function(A) { if (dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction !== true) { dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction = true; A.declarative( ‘acrLink-click-metrics’, ‘click’, { “allowLinkDefault”: true }, function (event) { if (window.ue) { ue.count(“acrLinkClickCount”, (ue.count(“acrLinkClickCount”) || 0) + 1); } } ); } }); P.when(‘A’, ‘cf’).execute(function(A) { A.declarative(‘acrStarsLink-click-metrics’, ‘click’, { “allowLinkDefault” : true }, function(event){ if(window.ue) { ue.count(“acrStarsLinkWithPopoverClickCount”, (ue.count(“acrStarsLinkWithPopoverClickCount”) || 0) + 1); } }); });
8 reviews for The First Rule of Mastery: Stop Worrying about What People Think of You
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Original price was: $29.99.$11.99Current price is: $11.99.
Chelsea Witbrook –
Great for High Performers + Note of caution for NON-high performers
In both this book and his podcast, Dr. Mike makes big ideas and difficult “heart work” manageable and enjoyable. He breaks things down so well! He has a beautiful heart, and it shows through in his writing.NOTE OF CAUTION:This is not criticism, per se, but just a word of caution for the purchaser who might be considering this as a gift because you’re trying to be helpful for someone else in your life who seems really stuck:This book is likely going to resonate really well with people who are known for already being high performers. (You’ll be able to spot this type because we’re the sort who tend to beat ourselves up for the rare bouts of less disciplined life planning, we set high standards for ourselves then get really frustrated when we don’t live up to our self-imposed expectations, we’re up at 5a running drills even without a coach, and we’re the up and coming business people/scholars who willingly work late into the night to ensure any job we do is excellent, etc. We like — and need — to know that we’re living meaningful lives of purpose, accomplishing lasting goals that benefit others, not just ourselves, and we’re very driven to follow through.)Just know that if the person you are purchasing this book for would not be described like that, this might not be the right selection YET.I mention that NOT as criticism of his book, because I love this book and I follow Dr. Mike like some people follow a religion– he quite literally saved my life and he speaks straight to my inner dialogue as if he is INSIDE my brain. But I am a high performer by nature. His presentation style works to UNSTUCK me rather than add undue pressure.So my only caution here is that if you are someone on the good-hearted hunt for a book that might help someone you care greatly about but who seems very stuck, but you’re not sure how to help them, just proceed with caution here. If you found this book, you might be a high performer personality and might not see that this framework is not inclusively relevant to all personality types.If the person you’re trying to help isn’t someone who you’ve already observed showcasing “high performer” traits, there might be other literature to start with first BEFORE they will THEN be ready to return here be ready to receive and lift off with Dr. Mike’s framework.(I say this because I’m simultaneously reading a similar book because negative self-talk is something that really burdens me. I wanted to get a few different perspectives. The other book is Blessing My Demons by Forbrook, which I chose because there are many complementary parallels between Dr. Mike’s book. An interview between him and the other author, Chelsea Forbrook, would be super cool, though! They’re discussing the exact same thing, but I just wonder if he’d be open to considering how his framework could be even more inclusively relevant if he expanded his thinking/approach just a bit.)
Kara L. Shutler –
Engaging stories combined with practical wisdom
As a football fan, I was introduced to the work of Dr. Michael Gervais through his role with the Seattle Seahawks several years ago. I found the idea of a high performance psychologist on staff of an NFL team to be a competitive advantage. As an educator, I often theorized how the practice of high performance psychology could impact teachers and students. This concept inspired my doctoral research on Transformational Leadership Coaching designed for educators. When I found out Dr. Gervais was writing a book, I was excited to read it and to also share the practical wisdom from the book with our leadership team at our school district. As educational leaders, the fear of people’s opinions limits our potential to innovate schools and create optimal learning environments for our students. In the book, Dr. Gervais notes that leaders are even more susceptible to “FOPO,” as our professional decisions impact so many. What I loved about this book are the engaging stories about athletes and historical figures that we believe have everything figured out. We are all humans and regardless of our role, we grapple (to various degrees) with similar psychological struggles that threaten our self-image. I also enjoyed the ideas for action that closed each chapter. A key concept from the book that continues to stick with me, is the importance of building from the within. If we want to contribute in a positive manner (to our family, our community, our team, our society) it begins with building a strong internal and external support network. What habits are we developing that will help us on our path? Who are the people that we go to for honest feedback? What are we reading? Are we taking care of our body and our mind? All of these investments allow us to live our purpose and help others on their path. As Dr. Gervais states in one of his AMA podcasts, “Your responsibility is for you to be great so that you can be there for other people. It’s like you are the pebble in the pond, and if you want to create great ripples, be a heavy pebble. Build something internally so that you can be there and create waves in the places you go.” We can’t be a heavy pebble for others if we waste our time worrying about what others think. The research in this book helps us calm those worries.- Dr. Zac Shutler, Superintendent and Graduate Professor
missesmonkey –
Hard Grader – Doesn’t Mean this book is not a full on Groundbreaker!!!
We are all on a journey. The opinions of others impact , often negatively, in our ability to travel well. Michael Gervais’ book is a primer on how to improve our reactions to the opinions and influence of others on our path. For me, the concepts have helped me slow down the negative self talk I have always struggled with… In very short order, I am realizing that my procrastination on certain projects is my way to handle FOPO (fear of others opinons)… I am now more inclined to lean in, and see projects through… And for me as a parent – it is providing me with language to talk to my son about the influence of social media… and how to do the right thing when needed… So why not 5 stars?? Because I have never given one…
Sherlock the door –
The First Rule of Mastery really surprised me in the best way. I picked it up out of interest in performance psychology, but it turned out to be one of those books that sticks with you well beyond the last page.Michael Gervais tackles something incredibly relevant — the fear of other people’s opinions (FOPO) — and shows how deeply it impacts our behavior, decisions, and potential. What I liked most is that it’s not just theory: Gervais blends science, personal stories, and examples from elite performers to show how to recognize FOPO in yourself and move beyond it.The advice is actionable, but more importantly, it’s liberating. This book encourages you to anchor your confidence internally rather than letting it be shaped by external validation, something that’s more needed than ever in today’s hyperconnected world.Highly recommended for anyone who wants to perform at a higher level, being so in business, sports, creativity, or just life in general. Five stars.
Erika Howard –
I really enjoy Michael Gervais’ podcast, Finding Mastery, and was thrilled to read this book to learn more about one of my favourite topics FOPO (fear of other people’s opinions). I think this is one I’ll read again and again. Easy and quick – packed with information and his usual warmth and wit. Thank you!
Somerset –
I purchased this book to give to a friend to help him with Worrying what people thought of him. He was most grateful.It arrived quickly and looks an interesting and helpful book.
Mina –
10/10 I really enjoyed this book and I have recommended it to many of my friends.
Kate –
This is such a great deep dive into the topic of FOPO – Fear of People’s Opinions. It’s something that is so omnipresent that I hadn’t ever stopped to really consider, all the way’s FOPO was affecting my life – and in many instances making me play smaller in life than I needed to.This is a super relatable read – that highlight some of the great psych studies over time – very entertaining. With actional insights at the end of many chapters – it gets you thinking – but it also got me into action and I’m already seeing some positive changes. Super valuable read.